


My Remedy

by foggys_cupcake_girl



Series: Colin's mini-harem collection [1]
Category: Actor RPF, Alexander (2004)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Colin Farrell needs a hug, Drunken Kissing, Feels, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jared Leto is an actual softie, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Men Crying, Workplace Relationship, because bby Colin is so unhappy, because this is pre-sober Colin, it's mild but it's still there, it's super Soft but also a little bit sad, look this is super romantic and gooey okay idk what else to tell you, the Alexander/Hephaistion is kinda just implied but...yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29968701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggys_cupcake_girl/pseuds/foggys_cupcake_girl
Summary: Colin is worn out after a long day of filming, and he's feeling more than a little melancholy. Jared wants to help...but he has limits on just how far he's willing to go to ease his friend's pain. Especially since he knows that neither of them wants to just be friends...
Relationships: Alexandros III of Macedon | Alexander the Great/Hephaistion of Macedon, Colin Farrell/Jared Leto
Series: Colin's mini-harem collection [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2208759
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	My Remedy

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to cure writer's block lovelies and I HAVE NO REGRETS
> 
> ~~  
> oh god this is my first fic with this pairing please please Farrelleto fans go easy on me  
> ~~
> 
>   
> 

Colin hides behind the bunk cabin and huddles against the wall, tears burning his eyes. He knows this is pathetic and weak and he hates himself for it, but today they filmed an intense battle scene and he  _ knows _ the horses weren’t really hurt, but being in Alexander’s head and watching “his” horse dying was…it was just a lot, and he’s practically dead with exhaustion from the scene and with an increasing need to get something,  _ anything,  _ in his system…

He doesn’t want to think about what it says about him that he’s craving beer like pregnant women crave pickles. Honestly, he knows, but he doesn’t want to think about it and he’s so tired and he hasn’t had a hug, just a nice, plain old hug, in weeks. He missed the birth of his son for this shit, he thinks exasperatedly, he  _ knows _ deep in his heart that this movie will not be what Oliver wants it to be, but they’re all out here busting their asses anyway.

A few tears slip free.  _ I missed the birth of my child _ ricochets in his head with the image of Alexander, broken and injured, reaching for his dying horse as his soldiers carry him away…it’s so pathetic, he knows it’s pathetic but his heart won’t listen to his head and a choked, almost impatient noise breaks out of his throat.

(He’s too proud to call it a sob. But he knows that’s what it is.)

“What are you doing back here all alone, sweet thing?” comes a familiar voice, and Colin jumps and turns as Jared Leto comes around the corner of the bunk building. He sinks down beside Colin and offers him a plastic canteen. “You want it, trust me,” he grins when Colin tries to wave it away.

Colin is not at all sure he wants Jared around right now. Jared is sweet and Colin loves working with him but he tends to be weirdly playful and dorky when they aren’t filming, and most of the time Colin loves that (he laughs and rolls his eyes and  _ oh, you-s _ just as much as anyone else when Jared mockingly calls him  _ my king _ or  _ my beloved Alexander) _ but right now he doesn’t want to be cheered up, and frankly, it’s a little embarrassing to have Jared, who seems to never be bothered by anything at all, see him when he’s so sad.

Still, he obligingly takes the flask and drinks…and nearly chokes when bubbles fizz up his nose. Cheap champagne. It tastes like 7-Up but still burns going down, and Colin swears his head clears at the first sip. “Thank you,” he murmurs.

“Anything for you, my beloved Alexander,” Jared says with a teasing smile, reaching out and sweeping Colin’s long hair off his shoulder, then cupping a gentle hand around the base of his neck. Colin sighs and tilts his head into the touch. It feels good to be handled with care, after being roughly knocked around on set earlier. “Hey,” Jared says softly, his voice low and concerned. “You okay? I know it was a hard day today…”

Colin sniffs and tries to brush away the tears still on his face. Jared catches his wrist. “Stop. Let me go,” Colin pleads quietly, even though his heart is racing with how good it feels to be touched.

(He knows what it means that his heart flutters when Jared touches him. He’s not stupid. He knows what attraction feels like, knows as well as he knows that he drinks too much that he’s got a real crush on his co-star. But he has someone, and that someone had his baby, and no fucking way can he act on it no matter how much he wants to.)

“When you’re sitting here looking like someone actually killed your pet today? Not fucking likely, Farrell.” Jared grabs his face with both hands and turns Colin around to face him. When he sees Colin’s red eyes, he frowns in sympathy. “Oh, honey. What is it?”

There is so much Colin could be crying about right now. He missed his son’s birth, he’s been out here for weeks on a strictly enforced diet and he’s unbelievably hungry, he misses home, he’s tired, this champagne sucks and he wants a proper drink, he’s tired, he’s lonely, he is  _ so _ fucking tired. “I want to go home,” is what slips out.

Jared folds him into a gentle embrace. “I know,” he murmurs. He pulls back and kisses Colin’s forehead, a gesture so soft it conjures butterflies deep in Colin’s belly. “Let’s drink, that’ll make you feel better. I won’t tell Oliver if you won’t.”

“Deal.”

~

The plastic canteen is rolling on the ground, and Colin is cradled in Jared’s arms like a baby, one palm stretching up to cup Jared’s soft cheek. It’s not fair, Colin thinks, that Jared is older than he is but looks not a day over twenty. “You’re so pretty,” he sighs longingly. It’s hardly appropriate, but Colin can’t help it; he never could resist touching something pretty.

“Mmm,” Jared hums, rocking Colin in such a way that immediately deepens the floaty, dizzy haze around Colin’s head. He moans softly and lets his head drop into the crook of Jared’s neck. “Feel good, sweet thing?” Jared coos as he rocks Colin. “You gonna sleep if I keep up like this?”

Colin moans into Jared’s neck. “Stay with me tonight, Hephaistion,” he murmurs drunkenly.

“Of course, my king.” Jared runs a hand through Colin’s hair, and they stay like that for what could be minutes or hours. Time stops having any meaning as Colin melts in Jared’s arms.

He withdraws his face from Jared’s neck and looks into the older man’s hypnotic blue eyes. “I am nothing without you,” he whispers, another line from the movie. He is in love. He is so,  _ so _ sure that he is in love. He leans in and messily presses his mouth to his co-star’s, tears coming unbidden to his eyes once more.

Jared moans quietly into Colin’s mouth and wraps his arms more securely around Colin, rocking him again as he deepens the kiss. It’s good, it’s so good, and Colin’s heart is fluttering in his chest and if Jared wanted to lay him out on the dusty ground right here behind the bunks he would happily allow it. He’s about to beg for just that when Jared pulls back…

“Don’t stop,” Colin moans as Jared draws that wonderful mouth away from his.

Jared sighs and tugs Colin’s hair. “Colin, love, I need you to listen to me,” he says, his voice low and serious. Colin whimpers and leans in for another kiss, but Jared gently holds him off. “Not now,” he says sternly.

Colin whimpers again. “Not fair,” he says pleadingly. “I  _ want _ you, you don’t understand…”

“I understand that you’re drunk and I’m not exactly up to passing a field sobriety test myself,” Jared says, his voice quivering, but his hold on Colin firm. “I understand that I—Colin, I—I think I’m in love with you.” He sounds as if he’s about to cry himself. “And I know I tease you, and call you _Alexander_ when we’re not filming, and I know I act like an ass sometimes but you…you aren’t Alexander the Great to me. You are so much more than that, and I…I don’t want this to just be…to just be for the film.”

Colin leans his head on Jared’s shoulder, and Jared slowly relaxes his grip as it becomes apparent Colin isn’t going to kiss him again. “I wanted to hear you say that...and oh, God, I have a girlfriend and a kid back at home,” Colin murmurs helplessly. “Fuck, I’m a terrible person.”

“You aren’t,” Jared says firmly, his hand making steady, soothing strokes up and down Colin’s back. “You’re vulnerable right now and you’re upset, and that’s fine, this has been a really emotional shoot. But I want to wait, okay? I’ll be here for you while we film, but as your friend and that’s it. And when we’re back in the States and you’ve had some time with your baby and you’ve thought more about what you want, preferably when you haven’t just had a load of sketchy Moroccan champagne, we’ll try again if that’s what you really want, okay?”

Colin wants nothing more than to sleep with Jared, to stave off the loneliness that has eaten at his soul for weeks now. Instead he lets out a shuddery sigh and lets his body go slack against Jared’s. “Will you do one thing for me?” he whispers. “Will you…will you hold me like this, sometimes? I won’t try to kiss you again, I promise, I just. Hugs. Hugs are…important. I can’t go without that again.”

“I will,” Jared promises, and Colin feels such a strong rush of relief he nearly starts to weep again.

He’s in love. He’s so, so sure he’s in love. But he knows Jared’s right. Now isn’t the time. It’s all right. This love will still be here, Colin thinks, a few months from now. And if it is love (and he knows it is), it’s worth waiting for, and doing it right.


End file.
